@Veins Of Scarlet: Scars are testament to my strength .

I'm fat and ugly. I'm made of flaws. I yearn to be happy.

My name is Melissa Wong; the broken one .

My life is covered with unhealed bruises & scars . God is my first priority & only God can judge me , so who the hell are you ? Im fat & ugly . Im made of flaws . I yearn to be happy . Im always tired , but it is the kind of tired that even sleeping cant fix . Im going through constant excruciating pain . Pain so bad I'd take take death with a smile just to get away from it . & you'll never know what its like to beg God everyday to just take all the agony away with crippled anger & tears that still drip sore . I love songs which can relate to my feelings . I desire no wealth or health , i just want to be happy . I dont like liars , betrayers nor kpos , I DETEST COPYCATS . I can cry for 4hours straight or laugh for the rest of my life , you decide . It takes years to build up trust with me but seconds to destroy it . Im very soft hearted , but dont take me for granted . Im not helpless . Maybe discouraged & faltering , but not helpless . I love to pray , as GOD listens to me . People said i changed so much . Well , here is the truth . I grew up . I stopped letting ppl push me around all the time , I learnt that i cant always be happy . I , accepted reality .

For all sad words of tongue & pen , the saddest are this " It might have been " .

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Scars are testament to my strength .

I’m not lonely . Well , yeah . I’m alone . But that doesn’t mean I’m lonely . Alone & lonely are not the same thing . Because , I don’t need too many people around . Don’t need too many other souls nearby . Just a few , just a select number of things , people, ghosts , what have you , that truly like my company , whose company I like , too , and who I believe in , & trust , and will never want to be without . So no , I don’t want their attention because I’m lonely , or want more existence to surround me . I think I want their attention because I like to know I can have it . I don’t want a guy because I want to be in love ; I want a guy to know that I can have a guy , if I wanted one . I want to be told I’m lovely just to know that someone thinks I’m lovely , & want to be told I’m wanted to remind me that someone wants me , and want to be told I’m loved to be reassured that it’s possible for someone to love me at all . They don’t have to mean it . I just like to hear it .