@Veins Of Scarlet: Define sadness .

I'm fat and ugly. I'm made of flaws. I yearn to be happy.

My name is Melissa Wong; the broken one .

My life is covered with unhealed bruises & scars . God is my first priority & only God can judge me , so who the hell are you ? Im fat & ugly . Im made of flaws . I yearn to be happy . Im always tired , but it is the kind of tired that even sleeping cant fix . Im going through constant excruciating pain . Pain so bad I'd take take death with a smile just to get away from it . & you'll never know what its like to beg God everyday to just take all the agony away with crippled anger & tears that still drip sore . I love songs which can relate to my feelings . I desire no wealth or health , i just want to be happy . I dont like liars , betrayers nor kpos , I DETEST COPYCATS . I can cry for 4hours straight or laugh for the rest of my life , you decide . It takes years to build up trust with me but seconds to destroy it . Im very soft hearted , but dont take me for granted . Im not helpless . Maybe discouraged & faltering , but not helpless . I love to pray , as GOD listens to me . People said i changed so much . Well , here is the truth . I grew up . I stopped letting ppl push me around all the time , I learnt that i cant always be happy . I , accepted reality .

For all sad words of tongue & pen , the saddest are this " It might have been " .

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Define sadness .

Today got Oral exams , both language on the same day . Jesus Christ ! So tiring lah dey . Hmm , im quite happy with my performance though . This is the first time i talk so much during Oral . I dont give the teacher a chance to prompt me , if not my marks can fly away alr oh ! Before English Oral , YT , Glenna && I spent our 40mins inside the toilet dancing . Waa , i perspired like siao . && after that , HAHA ? I got scrared by a 2cm frog ! Dammit ! :(

Im tired of acting a strong front . Everytime when i mention your name , you know how i feel like crying ? You know how i feel like seeing you ? Talking about you aint making me any happier . I forced out a smile to prevent ppl from wasting their time to think of what to say to cheer me up && i seriously dontw to spoil the atmosphere .. My cheeks ache from faking smiles . I dont understand the meaning of fake smiles until i start faking one . The feeling sucks to the core , you feel like never to smile again . I have to do all sorts of things i despise to have the feeling of you by my side again . Why do i treat myself this way . Why do you treat me this way ? Gee , IMY .

What are we to you ? Hmm . Define disappointment .