@Veins Of Scarlet: Its the kind of tired that even sleeping cant fix .

I'm fat and ugly. I'm made of flaws. I yearn to be happy.

My name is Melissa Wong; the broken one .

My life is covered with unhealed bruises & scars . God is my first priority & only God can judge me , so who the hell are you ? Im fat & ugly . Im made of flaws . I yearn to be happy . Im always tired , but it is the kind of tired that even sleeping cant fix . Im going through constant excruciating pain . Pain so bad I'd take take death with a smile just to get away from it . & you'll never know what its like to beg God everyday to just take all the agony away with crippled anger & tears that still drip sore . I love songs which can relate to my feelings . I desire no wealth or health , i just want to be happy . I dont like liars , betrayers nor kpos , I DETEST COPYCATS . I can cry for 4hours straight or laugh for the rest of my life , you decide . It takes years to build up trust with me but seconds to destroy it . Im very soft hearted , but dont take me for granted . Im not helpless . Maybe discouraged & faltering , but not helpless . I love to pray , as GOD listens to me . People said i changed so much . Well , here is the truth . I grew up . I stopped letting ppl push me around all the time , I learnt that i cant always be happy . I , accepted reality .

For all sad words of tongue & pen , the saddest are this " It might have been " .

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Its the kind of tired that even sleeping cant fix .

I wish I was stronger .
I wish im not so soft hearted , so that ppl will stop taking me granted . I wish i can be mad at ppl for long . Why am i borned so weak & useless . Why must i go through so much becos of my weakness . Why cant ppl appreciate me more rather than hurting me time & time again . Its so hard to be strong , its just so hard to keep yourself alive in this fucked up world . Sometimes i wish i could be a little less harsh to my body , sometimes i wish i could love myself a little more . But sadly , ppl just love to hurt me , ppl just love to see me cry . I just cant stand it when ppl say whatever they do was to make me happy . Becos its just crap bullshit thats just excuses . FUCKING EXCUSES . I hate this life , i hate this Melissa .