@Veins Of Scarlet: Hang on .

I'm fat and ugly. I'm made of flaws. I yearn to be happy.

My name is Melissa Wong; the broken one .

My life is covered with unhealed bruises & scars . God is my first priority & only God can judge me , so who the hell are you ? Im fat & ugly . Im made of flaws . I yearn to be happy . Im always tired , but it is the kind of tired that even sleeping cant fix . Im going through constant excruciating pain . Pain so bad I'd take take death with a smile just to get away from it . & you'll never know what its like to beg God everyday to just take all the agony away with crippled anger & tears that still drip sore . I love songs which can relate to my feelings . I desire no wealth or health , i just want to be happy . I dont like liars , betrayers nor kpos , I DETEST COPYCATS . I can cry for 4hours straight or laugh for the rest of my life , you decide . It takes years to build up trust with me but seconds to destroy it . Im very soft hearted , but dont take me for granted . Im not helpless . Maybe discouraged & faltering , but not helpless . I love to pray , as GOD listens to me . People said i changed so much . Well , here is the truth . I grew up . I stopped letting ppl push me around all the time , I learnt that i cant always be happy . I , accepted reality .

For all sad words of tongue & pen , the saddest are this " It might have been " .

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Hang on .

I really feel lika stupid fool . Smiley face here & there . After one sentence , one smiley face . For what only ,zzzs . Slowly , i start to realise the reason why i put so many smiley faces . Its not that im happy or excited , its that i want the receiver to feel good , to assure them that im fine & that they dont needa worry for me . Im trying to change to a person who will make everybody happy , who will satisfy everyone . Becos the me now , is causing too much misery to the ppl around me . MORE understanding & selfless . Im not trying to make myself sound poorthing oror sarcastic . I just want to say that i will do anything , anything , to make the ppl around me happy . & i hope that that you ppl will feel it . No needa thank me , praise me , just note that im trying really hard can alr . I can try to be more dependent , & not go around asking more help . I can try to not be so straightforward . I can try not to be so irritating & just mind my own business . Its rather simple actually , i just not be myself can alr . I dont need constant reminders , im self aware that i failed to be the girl everyone wants me to be . If this is what it takes to make you ppl happy , if this is what it takes to reduce conflicts , fine , i'll do it .