@Veins Of Scarlet: Im stupid .

I'm fat and ugly. I'm made of flaws. I yearn to be happy.

My name is Melissa Wong; the broken one .

My life is covered with unhealed bruises & scars . God is my first priority & only God can judge me , so who the hell are you ? Im fat & ugly . Im made of flaws . I yearn to be happy . Im always tired , but it is the kind of tired that even sleeping cant fix . Im going through constant excruciating pain . Pain so bad I'd take take death with a smile just to get away from it . & you'll never know what its like to beg God everyday to just take all the agony away with crippled anger & tears that still drip sore . I love songs which can relate to my feelings . I desire no wealth or health , i just want to be happy . I dont like liars , betrayers nor kpos , I DETEST COPYCATS . I can cry for 4hours straight or laugh for the rest of my life , you decide . It takes years to build up trust with me but seconds to destroy it . Im very soft hearted , but dont take me for granted . Im not helpless . Maybe discouraged & faltering , but not helpless . I love to pray , as GOD listens to me . People said i changed so much . Well , here is the truth . I grew up . I stopped letting ppl push me around all the time , I learnt that i cant always be happy . I , accepted reality .

For all sad words of tongue & pen , the saddest are this " It might have been " .

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Im stupid .

I brought everything upon myself . Im so stupid , gosh ! So stupid ! SO SO STUPID ! ARGH ! I know i shoudn't do it & yet i did it again & again . WHY AM I SO DUMB ? I HATE THIS . FML ! I cannnot believe im sucha fool , stupid fool . It alr happened so many times , & yet i dont learn my lesson . Im usually so smart , but then actually , im so stupid . FML ! Im so stupid to have let you walk in & out of my life so easily . I so stupid to let you joke around with your friends . Im so stupid to let everybody lie to me as & when they like . Im so stupid to believe that its possible . Im so stupid to have believed everything you say . Im so stupid to think that you had your reasons to leave . Im so stupid to think that you're different from the others . Im so stupid to have faith . Im so stupid to rmb every word you say . Im so stupid to shed blood & tears for you . & , im so stupid to have continued waiting for you despite you telling me not to . Beocs im just so plain stupid that nobody find it hard to lie to me or worst still , stab me on my back & take me for granted . Im so STUPID that , IM STILL STUPID despite knowing that im stupid .

Tsk , im so stupid .. So stupid to think that maybe someday , you'll turn back & think that , " Hey , that girl really does love me . " Someday will never come , will it ?

When does the pain end ?