Its has been days since we text . Are you happy ? Or are you as restless as i am now ? Are you holding on to your phone now , deciding whether to text me or are you crazily texting other girls now ? Are you missing me right now or are you busy trying out with another girl ? Gee , i dk what to expect from you anym .
I will do anything , any sacrifices to make one of my many problems go away , im not selfish , just one will do .
First & foremost , my freaking fats . Its really sad to know that most of you ppl think that im saying myself fat becos im seeking attention & i want ppl to say that im thin . Evil thinkings ! But im really not :( I hate myself for not controlling my diet well & not do something to it soon enough . Its so frusting you know , to know that there's a solution to it & yet i cant do it , dammit ! None of you have any idea how it feels like to be called fat at home even though im trying so hard to starve myself .
Second , my academic stress . I never thought that i will be saying this , but gosh ! Im really stress out by my studies . Im not a straight A student & i really hope that my mummy will start accepting the fact . Excessive tuitions , lectures , confiscations & detentions wont make me any smarter . It will only make me hate studying more . & yes , i might be really slacky in school , budden im v.hardworking at home too alright . Seriously , who really thinks that tutors cannot be as good as subject teachers ? You see Luke so hardworking in class , why his results never ace leh . Its not like i never listen at all also , pls . Piles of tuition homework , never ending tuitions & long hours of tortures . I think its enough for a Secondary 2 girl , isn't it ?
Third , family issues . Everyday when i reach home , i dont expect my mummy to greet me with a smile , i dont expect my younger sist to run to me & hug me , i dont expect my step-father to ask how my day was & i definitely dont expect my older sist to talk to me . All i want is peace . But what do i get instead . Everyday when both my parents are back , shoutings filled up the house , crying can be heard & i have to pray hard that nobody starts laying their hands on one another . Its like evrything is happening again . My past , the memories i tried to block out for years are all flooding back . You call this a home ? Nah ,i call this a total nightmare .
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You think its fun to be sad ? You think i love being sad ? You think its fun to be sad just to get attention from the crowd ? You think its so nice & blessed to have hundreds & thousands of ppl sending you texts asking you not to be sad ? Well , think again .
