@Veins Of Scarlet: Depression is so underrated.

I'm fat and ugly. I'm made of flaws. I yearn to be happy.

My name is Melissa Wong; the broken one .

My life is covered with unhealed bruises & scars . God is my first priority & only God can judge me , so who the hell are you ? Im fat & ugly . Im made of flaws . I yearn to be happy . Im always tired , but it is the kind of tired that even sleeping cant fix . Im going through constant excruciating pain . Pain so bad I'd take take death with a smile just to get away from it . & you'll never know what its like to beg God everyday to just take all the agony away with crippled anger & tears that still drip sore . I love songs which can relate to my feelings . I desire no wealth or health , i just want to be happy . I dont like liars , betrayers nor kpos , I DETEST COPYCATS . I can cry for 4hours straight or laugh for the rest of my life , you decide . It takes years to build up trust with me but seconds to destroy it . Im very soft hearted , but dont take me for granted . Im not helpless . Maybe discouraged & faltering , but not helpless . I love to pray , as GOD listens to me . People said i changed so much . Well , here is the truth . I grew up . I stopped letting ppl push me around all the time , I learnt that i cant always be happy . I , accepted reality .

For all sad words of tongue & pen , the saddest are this " It might have been " .

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Depression is so underrated.

Do you know what its like to not want to get out of bed every morning , not wanting to deal with all the bullshit beyond your bedroom ? Do you even know what it feels like to be completely alone while you know there are millions of miserable ppl around you feeling the same too ? How about what its like to be repulsed by things you used to love ? To feel completely lost & not really knowing if there is a way out ? To not have the strength to feel like you can make it the whole day , let alone the next one , without breaking down ? To not be able to explain how you feel at all ? To have everyone constantly asking if you are okay until it gets to a point where no one asks , making you wonder if they dont notice or just dont care ? To have no energy & motivation to do anything ? To hate who you are & who you've become ? To feel like you are trapped in a world full of ugly things but being scared of what's on the other side ? To know there is no one to save you from the way you feel ? & knowing that the only one who is hurting you is those ppl whom they say they never will .