@Veins Of Scarlet: Sometimes ppl underestimate how much pain I am in , to be able to hold a blade to my wrist .

I'm fat and ugly. I'm made of flaws. I yearn to be happy.

My name is Melissa Wong; the broken one .

My life is covered with unhealed bruises & scars . God is my first priority & only God can judge me , so who the hell are you ? Im fat & ugly . Im made of flaws . I yearn to be happy . Im always tired , but it is the kind of tired that even sleeping cant fix . Im going through constant excruciating pain . Pain so bad I'd take take death with a smile just to get away from it . & you'll never know what its like to beg God everyday to just take all the agony away with crippled anger & tears that still drip sore . I love songs which can relate to my feelings . I desire no wealth or health , i just want to be happy . I dont like liars , betrayers nor kpos , I DETEST COPYCATS . I can cry for 4hours straight or laugh for the rest of my life , you decide . It takes years to build up trust with me but seconds to destroy it . Im very soft hearted , but dont take me for granted . Im not helpless . Maybe discouraged & faltering , but not helpless . I love to pray , as GOD listens to me . People said i changed so much . Well , here is the truth . I grew up . I stopped letting ppl push me around all the time , I learnt that i cant always be happy . I , accepted reality .

For all sad words of tongue & pen , the saddest are this " It might have been " .

Friday, May 20, 2011

Sometimes ppl underestimate how much pain I am in , to be able to hold a blade to my wrist .

Sometimes I climb out of bed in the morning & I think that im not going to make it .But I laugh inside my heart as I rmb all the time I've felt that way & I walk to the bathroom , see my pathetic face in the mirror , thinking what else could go wrong . But , I comb my hair anyways .Im not gonna get over it , but im gonna get used to it . Just let myself feel what I need to feel , even if it hurts .