Imperfection completes me .

I'm fat and ugly. I'm made of flaws. I yearn to be happy.

My name is Melissa Wong; the broken one .

My life is covered with unhealed bruises & scars . God is my first priority & only God can judge me , so who the hell are you ? Im fat & ugly . Im made of flaws . I yearn to be happy . Im always tired , but it is the kind of tired that even sleeping cant fix . Im going through constant excruciating pain . Pain so bad I'd take take death with a smile just to get away from it . & you'll never know what its like to beg God everyday to just take all the agony away with crippled anger & tears that still drip sore . I love songs which can relate to my feelings . I desire no wealth or health , i just want to be happy . I dont like liars , betrayers nor kpos , I DETEST COPYCATS . I can cry for 4hours straight or laugh for the rest of my life , you decide . It takes years to build up trust with me but seconds to destroy it . Im very soft hearted , but dont take me for granted . Im not helpless . Maybe discouraged & faltering , but not helpless . I love to pray , as GOD listens to me . People said i changed so much . Well , here is the truth . I grew up . I stopped letting ppl push me around all the time , I learnt that i cant always be happy . I , accepted reality .

For all sad words of tongue & pen , the saddest are this " It might have been " .

Monday, July 26, 2010

I guess its gonna have to hurt .






TO GUEST: EXCUSE ME , WE WHR GOT FIGHT ? THAT " FML " POST ALSO NOT TALKING ABOUT US . YOU CRAZY IS IT ? ZZZS .

Hello people ! Im so worn out :( Early in the morning , broke down again . Luckily YunTing was around to lend me her hand to cover my eyes , keke . During Art lesson was the best ! Lynn rebelled against MGL . With all due respect , i think MGL is unreasonable . She puts the blame on JiaLei & then keep accusing him of listening wrongly . Like what the hell , ppl make mistakes . & besides , what makes her think that she didn't say wrongly or make herself clear ? Why does no teacher ever think that it could be their fault sometimes ? Zzzs , if she continue lithat ah , i tell you , i think the whole class gonna rebel .

Anyw , I've been having nightmares lately , cant even sleep well at night . 3days ago , i dreamed of being trapped inside a shopping center , seriously , it is terrifying . The scariest part is , i still can rmb the dream so vividly . & last night , i dreamed of a ghost from one show , its about this lady with mouth extension who went around killing ppl . Budden in my dream , she was super friendly man . & in my dream , i was fucking pregnant ! 3 babies in my stomach , wow , that guy must have fucked me real hard man ! So anyw , that scary & friendly " lady " helped me in the give birth process . Siao ley , i can literally feel the pain . Seriosuly , no joke one . In my dream , i was grabbing onto something soft , in reality , i was grabbing my sist's hand . When i woke up , i saw bruises on my sist's hand . OMG right ? Im so freaked out by these dreams .

To: [ insert name ]
I understand the fact that everyb makes mistake . But you commit too much mistakes alr , & i cant take it . You are a unbalance asshole you know . When they ignore you , you come por us . Tell us how much you've give in to us & loved us . When they want to talk to you alr , you neglect & simple shove us aside . Have you ever thought of how we give in to you & forgive you instead ? Have you forgotten who was the one who stood by your side when nobody did ? Have you forgotten how we tried to comfort you & make you laugh when you were upset ? Have you forgotten the promise you made that lure us into believing you that you are worthy of us to trust you ? Have you forgotten all of that ? & you can even forget our birthdays . All you care about is the two girls & their welfare . I know that after all , they are your blood daughters & we are just someb you kindly took in . You always compare us with them , telling us how smart & independent they are . But , we definitely didn't ask for $100 as a condition to talk to you aye ?We didn't ask for anything , mister . We just want your unconditional love & truthful words . You cannot even fulfill that ?

To: [ insert name ]
Why must you always disappoint me at times when you shouldn't ? Why do you always use such a despicable way to get what you desire ? Looking down on things which you shouldn't , thinking that you're the only one worth spending time on , wow . Why the big change ? Why the cruelty ? I dont care what your reason is , i just cant believe that you will say sucha thing . In a way , you shattered my dream . For a moment , i wish i was wrong about you .
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